There Is a Way to Be Good Again

Imagine receiving a phone call, out of the blue, from a long lost childhood friend. A friend who suffered a terrible criminal offence when you were both boys. A crime you knew about merely did nix to help.

How would you feel, as an developed, to hear the kind vocalism of your long lost friend? A friend who still loves yous. A friend who harbors no antagonism.

A friend who enticingly says, "At that place is a way to be skillful again."

These are the opening circumstances in the New York Times all-time-selling novelThe Kite Runner by Afghan-American writer Khaled Hosseini. The novel'due south Amazon page offers the following introduction:

"The unforgettable, heartbreaking story of the unlikely friendship between a wealthy male child and the son of his male parent's servant, caught in the tragic sweep of history, "The Kite Runner" transports readers to Transitional islamic state of afghanistan at a tense and crucial moment of change and devastation. A powerful story of friendship, it is also near the ability of reading, the price of betrayal, and the possibility of redemption; and an exploration of the power of fathers over sons -their love, their sacrifices, their lies."

I read this volume years agone when it debuted and was moved by its themes of love, atonement, and redemption.

The nighttime side

Equally a native Californian who grew up in the idyllic hills of Los Gatos, California, I knew nothing of Afghanistan and its struggles betwixt upper- class Pashtuns and lower class Hazaras.

The volume taught me a lot virtually Afghanistan, but it also left me with two realizations.

Starting time, people are mostly the same all over the world. Nosotros all want the best for our children. We desire to improve our lives. Notice dearest, success, and security.

Second, well-nigh every human being has moments of deep regret. No one is perfect, and sooner or after we all stumble. We say or practise things we regret.

"I regret those times when I've chosen the night side. I've wasted enough time not being happy." -Jessica Lange

My favorite line in theKite Runner is, "There is a way to be skillful again." There is great optimism and the promise of atonement in that line. It hints that a fundamental can be found if we're willing to work for it. A primal to unlock the cell doors to the prisons nosotros made for ourselves.

The by claws its way out

There'due south a point of reflection in theKite Runner where the following lines are shared:

"…but it'due south wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how y'all can bury it. Because the past claws its way out."

A lot of people make mistakes. They injure others, and thus themselves. And then they repress the things they've washed. Stuff it all in the deepest caverns of their minds, hoping time and distance will deliquesce the memories.

Only the memories are like leeches on the human spirit, siphoning our hope and joy. Sometimes the memories can make us ill.

"A person is, amid all else, a textile thing, easily torn and not hands mended." -Ian McEwan,Atonement

It'south tempting to permit sleeping dogs prevarication, and sometimes it's best non to dredge up the by with wounded souls. But what most our injured souls? How do we find a way to exist proficient again?

There are many paths to redemption

Here are iv steps to help you escape your own prison and observe a manner to go practiced once again.

Accept responsibility

No more than excuses, denials, rationalizations, blaming, and running away from information technology. The buck stops with you. Acknowledge your mistake to yourself. Take responsibility.

"The cost of greatness is responsibleness." -Winston Churchill

Change

There are many reasons why people hurt others. Perhaps they take an addiction. Maybe they are selfish or lack courage. The good news is that it's never too late to modify.

"Every positive change in your life begins with a articulate, unequivocal decision that y'all are going to either do something or stop doing something." -Anonymous

Addicts can get sober. Selfish people tin acquire to focus outward rather than inward. Cowards tin can become brave. You might have to enlist assistance to make this change happen. It may take time, but it'due south possible.

Pay it back or forwards

Often times you tin can correct the wrongs of the past. An alcoholic father who wasn't there for his children can be there for them when they're adults. A thief can apologize and pay restitution.

But sometimes the ones you hurt want nothing to practise with y'all. To apologize and endeavour to help them now might open old wounds and make things worse. What to practice so? Pay it forward.

"Equally we work to create light for others, we naturally light our ain mode." -Mary Anne Radmacher

If we can't help or redeem ourselves with the ones we've hurt, we can detect redemption in helping others. How? Donating one's time serving at a soup kitchen. Becoming a sponsor for other addicts. There are many paths to redemption.

We can't e'er atone straight with those we have injure, only we tin can help others and thus invite the lite of grace into our encumbered souls.

Forgive yourself

If yous've accustomed responsibility for your mistakes, truly changed for the better, paid information technology back (or forward), and so the final affair to do is forgive yourself.

"You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Attempt approval of yourself and see what happens." -Louise L. Hay

Others may or may non forgive you, but y'all have to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Some are minor, some are huge. Some can be fixed, some cannot.

Some regrets we simply accept to acquit. They may exist unwanted passengers, just they can be tolerated. You tin learn to alive with them if you've succeeded with the four steps.

There is a field

We are not designed to coexist with sin. It eats away at us, sooner or later. There's divinity in each and every person, just information technology gets lost sometimes in the darker regions of our humanity.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll see y'all there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about."

-Rumi

Don't keep living in this prison yous've constructed for yourself. Like the character inThe Kite Runner said so eloquently, "In that location is a fashion to be good again."

Embrace the four steps outlined higher up, escape the prison you've synthetic, find the way to be good again, and so let'south meet in Rumi's field. A field full of sunshine, redemption, dear, and hope for the future.

(Originally published here)

robertsengeres1978.blogspot.com

Source: https://johnpweiss.com/blog/164101/there-is-a-way-to-be-good-again

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